


Bad Moon Rising: Part 10

by TheIndifferentDroid



Series: Bad Moon Rising [10]
Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Mob AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 17:04:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIndifferentDroid/pseuds/TheIndifferentDroid
Summary: I don't usually put too many notes before my fics, but I think one needed it.This is it!! This is the 10th and final part to Bad Moon Rising. I won’t ramble too long because this chapter is over 5,000 words, so you’ll have plenty enough to read. But I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has read this or left feedback or reblogged or rec’d or anything! The response has been overwhelming. Part 1 was my first piece of fan fiction ever (EVER!), and while I never expected it to turn into this, I’m so glad it did. Thanks for coming on this journey with me.





	Bad Moon Rising: Part 10

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually put too many notes before my fics, but I think one needed it. 
> 
> This is it!! This is the 10th and final part to Bad Moon Rising. I won’t ramble too long because this chapter is over 5,000 words, so you’ll have plenty enough to read. But I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has read this or left feedback or reblogged or rec’d or anything! The response has been overwhelming. Part 1 was my first piece of fan fiction ever (EVER!), and while I never expected it to turn into this, I’m so glad it did. Thanks for coming on this journey with me.

It was like you were in a dream. A really bad dream. One where you feel things at the ends of your nerves and see things with your own eyes. Except it was real. It was all very, unfortunately real.

 

Your eyes were closed, but you began to see white light attempting to seep through your eyelids. You were waking up. But you didn’t want to let it on. There were people around you, their voices incomprehensible mumbling, but they were there. 

 

You relaxed your face, trying not to grimace from the uncomfortable position you were in. 

 

A woman was speaking, her words coming into focus the more you woke up. Her accent was thick, almost beautiful. Her tone was hushed enough to seem like she was trying not to wake you. "Oh, don’t be daft. Of course I didn’t kill her."

 

Did you look that bad someone thought you to be dead? You tried not to laugh.

 

Keeping your eyes closed, you slowly began to survey the damage. You were alive. That was… good. Your head ached. It felt like someone was stabbing you in the lungs. You wiggled your toes in your shoes. No pain there. You could feel your hands at least, even if they were asleep from laying on them.

 

"The girl is awake." A man’s voice spoke up out of the silence. It was enough to make you jump.

 

You thought about acting like you weren’t, in fact, awake, but you determined quickly that wouldn’t get you very far. Gradually, you let your eyes open, squinting to adjust to the light that you hadn’t seen in God knows how long. 

 

There a woman, a tall woman. At least you assumed she was tall from the way she towered over you, though it was tricky to tell since you were on the ground. Her hair was white blonde, and you could have sworn you had seen her before. 

 

You blinked hard once, still trying to adjust, and a memory flashed in your mind. You  _had_ seen her. She was the blurry smear of white you’d seen right before…

 

 _Focus_.

 

You opened your eyes again. Next to her was a man. He was seated, so you couldn’t get as good a read on him, but he looked frail. His bony fingers gripped the edges of the armrests, his knuckles nearly transparent against the paleness of his skin. You ran your eyes up his body, quickly moving up to his face once you had seen the shape his neck was in, how the scars twisted around his throat like fingers. His face wasn’t much better. He made eye contact with you, his eyes deep and intimidating. There was something missing behind them. 

 

"Sit her up. We need to talk."

 

The woman stepped up to you, grabbing your arm and opposite shoulder to help you rest against the wall. "Up you go," she spoke. She was surprisingly gentle. You were thankful for that, though you had a feeling she had something to do with at least some of the pain you were currently in. 

 

She walked away and leaned her shoulder against the wall across the room. She must have been the muscle, the guard. You would be dealing with the old man.

 

"Do you know who I am?" the man asked. His tone wasn’t mean or pompous. He was truly curious.

 

You had an idea, but you didn’t want to let on what you knew, or anything that would put Kylo in a bad spot.

 

_Kylo…_

 

 _Focus_.

 

You squinted at the man, pursing your lips. "Should I?"

 

"Depends on how much your little boyfriend told you."

 

You could approach this one of two ways. You could try to be the innocent bystander. You were pretty sure Kylo kept just enough from you that you’d be able to lie about what you didn’t know. Or you could divulge everything. It just depended on what would be more convincing: naïveté or fear. 

 

"You must be Snoke."

 

The man nodded, though his facial expression was steady, not letting on whether your knowledge upset or satisfied him.

 

"How much would it take you to go away?"

 

The question struck you. So you clarified. "How much…" You trailed off, allowing Snoke to complete your sentence.

 

"Money."

 

This is what it had come to, being bribed by the mob.

 

However, this was it. This was your opportunity. You could take the money and run, so to speak. No more mobsters, no more danger. No more Kylo.

 

"How much do you have to offer?"

 

You thought you heard a chuckle from the blonde woman’s general vicinity. Snoke tilted his head, the wrinkles in his neck grotesquely straining with the movement. 

 

"You'll take the deal, then?"

 

"If it still stands. It sounds like you're backing out now."

 

The blonde woman laughed again. She was enjoying this too much. 

 

Snoke opened his mouth to speak but the words eluded him. He reserved himself for a moment, linking his hands over his crossed knee, before trying to speak again. "My sources led me to believe it would be a little more difficult to rid of you."

 

You answered immediately, now fully invested in your storyline. "I'm a broke twenty-something with a part time job. And you're offering me money to no longer affiliate with a dangerous, organized crime group. I fail to see the difficulty of that scenario."

 

Snoke looked over his shoulder at the woman, who only shrugged her shoulders. 

 

"I mean," you continued, "it'll take more than a few dollars, but make me an offer."

 

"Phasma," Snoke called to the woman. "Go check on Kylo for me. See how he's holding up."

 

Your heart sank. He was here. And he was alive. Possibly. Maybe.

 

Snoke eyed you curiously, and you made a very labored attempt to control your emotions. You nearly had him convinced; you couldn’t let up now. You had a sudden feeling that this wasn’t going to be as easy as you had bragged it would be.

 

Phasma pushed herself up off the wall and sauntered down the hall, and you removed your gaze from Snoke to watch her. It was only then that you realized that you were in Kylo’s house.

 

There was something unsettling about being here, some weird invasion of privacy. You imagined how Kylo must have felt to be a captive in his own home, and your body shook with a chill.

 

You heard a door slam shut down the hall. The silence after that flipped your insides. The anxiety of waiting to know how he was. The fear of being alone now with Snoke. You were finally waking up enough for it all to hit you at once.

 

The brash demeanor you had felt minutes was gone but you had enough left to ask a question. "What are you going to do to me?"

 

Snoke looked down at you. His eyebrows furrowed and something like genuine concern crossed his features. "I’m not sure what he’s told you, but we’re not in the business of killing innocent people."

 

You began to sigh but before you could completely evacuate your lungs, Snoke spoke again. "So I'm not going to do anything to _you_. But Kylo..." Snoke paused, taking in a contemplative breath. "You must know by now that Kylo is not very innocent."

 

It felt like all the air had been pulled from your body at once. You slumped your shoulders and did everything you could to keep your head up. Bile singed the back of your throat.

 

Snoke leaned forward in his chair and lowered his voice. "It's quite simple, really. If you don't take the deal, we kill him. If you come back to him, we kill him. He's worth a great deal to me, but in his recent state he's rather useless."

 

Suddenly, a deafening scream echoed down the hall. You had never heard such a noise from Kylo, but you knew it was him. 

 

You kept your face as calm as you could, but you could feel the sweat begin to form on your temple, and heat rose in your cheeks. You stared at Snoke, who only lightly smiled. 

 

"I need to ensure my investment in you won't become a liability," Snoke began, "so if you need some convincing, that can be arranged."

 

*

 

The pain. Fuck, the pain. It pulsed through his calf; sometimes he could feel the sting radiating all the way up his leg. Kylo had nearly passed out from the pain, multiple times, since he’d been seated in the chair he was currently, uncomfortably attached to. It wasn’t that he hadn’t been shot before; it had happened on multiple other occasions. Occasions where he would have no choice but to work through the injury for fear of his life. But to have been left alone with just his thoughts, his body tied to a chair, his long legs bent at odd angles, that was only magnifying the pain. He couldn’t ignore it. 

 

And the way Phasma had entered the room, gently kicking the toe of Kylo’s boot – the one attached to the injured leg – only made it worse.

 

Kylo clenched his jaw, breathing heavy, labored breaths through his teeth. "Why’d you fucking kick me?"

 

"I thought you were asleep," replied Phasma, her tone nonchalant.

 

Kylo stared at her, mouth agape, incredulous. 

 

"You're pathetic," said Phasma.

 

Kylo took another deep, seething breath. "I have a bullet in my leg."

 

"No, you don't," Phasma said, pacing the room. "It was a through and through. You're fine."

 

Kylo adjusted uncomfortably in the chair, subtly trying to signal he wanted to be let out. 

 

Phasma ignored his efforts and continued. "I see you got your ass kicked last night. There were rumors, but I didn't expect that from you."

 

Kylo huffed. "Where's Y/N?" he asked.

 

"So it is true."

 

"What's true?"

 

Phasma rolled her eyes. "Snoke says you're distracted." She paused, expecting a rebuttal. "He's right."

 

Kylo sighed heavily, trying not to lose it on Phasma. She was too valuable to Kylo for him to be on her bad side, especially right now. He attempted to speak calmly. "Where's Y/N?" he asked again. 

 

Phasma shook her head disappointedly. "She’s with Snoke."

 

The name made Kylo's blood boil. He pulled against his restraints in a fit of anger, the ropes only seeming to tighten against his muscles as they flexed. He felt something warm creeping down to his ankle; he was bleeding again. 

 

"Fuck, Phasma. Untie me. I have to - I need -. God, come on. You know what he's going to do to her. Please."

 

Phasma pulled a chair up to sit in front of him, trying her best to ignore his pleas. She crossed her legs and leaned an arm over the back of the chair. "He's not going to do anything to her." She paused, a calm sort of expression washing across her face, as if she had just convinced herself of this as well. "He made her a deal. And she's going to take it."

 

Kylo stopped fighting the restraints. "You're bullshitting me."

 

"I am not."

 

It was silent besides a slight murmuring of words seeping under the door. Kylo's brows furrowed. It pained him to think of that, of you out there, making a deal with the devil. 

 

Through the haze of his mind, your words from earlier echoed in his ears.  _If I’m not with you, then I won’t be in danger._

 

"Fuck," Kylo whispered. "You sure Snoke doesn't have anything up his sleeves?"

 

"I don't believe so," Phasma answered. "He seemed pretty serious about it. She's no threat to him. He'll just wave some money in her face and she'll be gone. But you can't go after her, you understand? He'll have your head."

 

Kylo's breath shuddered. "How did he know?"

 

Phasma bit the inside of her lip, twisting her features, deciding if she should divulge the information, but ultimately decided Kylo probably already knew what she was about to say. "Hux has been trying to get back in Snoke's good graces."

 

Kylo let his guard down for just a moment, fueled by pure rage, and the words slipped out before he caught himself. "Won't have to worry about that bastard anymore."

 

The moment the words left Kylo's mouth, Phasma's eyes narrowed. "Pardon?"

 

"He - he was about to hurt Y/N. I couldn't let him do that."

 

"Unbelievable."

 

"Please don't-"

 

"Un-fucking-believable," Phasma interrupted. "When was this?"

 

"Right before  _you_  crashed the party," Kylo answered, with a little venom in his voice. "He's still in Y/N's apartment thanks to you."

 

Phasma hummed. 

 

"Exactly," Kylo continued. "So I've had a pretty shit day already. If you could just let me go...."

 

"You know I'm actually supposed to be inflicting physical pain right now, hm?" Phasma's face had changed in an instant. Kylo often underestimated her, and now was not an exception. She stood up from her chair, clearly done with the previous conversation. "That's why Snoke sent me in here. To scare off your little play thing."

 

"Come on, Phasma," Kylo pleaded. "Don't do this."

 

"Don't do what?" Phasma began pacing in long, slow strides around his chair. "This?" she asked, with a swift half-hearted kick of her boot to his injured leg. 

 

Kylo released a painful scream that rattled his chest. He cringed when he realized this was exactly what Snoke wanted. He bit his lip hard to distract from his leg; the taste of iron singed his tongue. "Phasma," he said, voice lowered. "Come on. Let me - let me make you a deal."

 

"You lost your bargaining chip when you admitted you killed Hux."

 

"Bullshit, Phasma. You know you couldn't care less about him. Or Snoke." Kylo added the last part in a rough whisper. His eyes darted to the door and back to Phasma. "I know how you are."

 

She only looked at him, a very unfamiliar pang of worry crossing her features. 

 

"I might make mistakes, but I am not stupid," Kylo said. "I know you have no real allegiance to anyone but yourself. Even I know that. Just – just get me out of this. And I'll make it worth your while."

 

Phasma returned to the chair in front of Kylo, and he released a sigh of relief that her boots were nowhere near his foot anymore. 

 

She sighed, running her hands through her hair. "Go on. I'm listening."  


*

 

You stared straight ahead, past Snoke, and fixed your eyes on the wall. They burned, begging to be relieved with a blink, but if you did that you knew the tears would fall. The last scream you heard had been worse than the first, and you could only imagine what was being done to Kylo. If you couldn't help him, you just wanted to get out of there. 

 

"I get it, okay?" you said, straining to keep your voice steady. "Can I just go now?"

 

Snoke feigned disappointment. "So soon? We haven't even agreed on a deal yet."

 

"I'm not interested anymore. I'll leave. I'll leave and... I won't come back. I swear. Just let me go. And leave Kylo alone. And you'll never see me again."

 

Snoke sat in silence for a moment, mulling over what you had to say. He pulled out his phone, pressed some buttons and held it to his ear. He stared down at you as he did, and even though you refused to look at him, you could still feel his eyes tracing over your features. 

 

After a few moments, Snoke spoke. "I have a task for you. Get it done and then we can talk about getting your job back. Return this call immediately or there won't be any more favors."

 

Your eyes grew wide, still fixed on the wall. Snoke likely had a handful of employees, but how many would have recently lost their job? There was only one you knew of, but it had to be him. It had to be Hux. 

 

And Snoke didn't know he was dead. 

 

Snoke ended the call and gently placed the phone onto the end table. It was then you noticed his gun. He slightly rotated it on the table, tracing his long fingers over it threateningly, but seemingly thoughtless.

 

"I'm arranging for someone to bring you home. I can't have you left to your own devices. We will monitor you for an undisclosed period of time, of course. I don't think I have to explain what will happen if there are any missteps."

 

You shifted your eyes to Snoke, nodding quickly. Your lips curled inwards and you bit them, doing your best not to speak. 

 

Snoke huffed and averted his gaze. The second he wasn't looking at you, you put your head down against your arms that were wrapped over your knees. There was no way to get out if your ride wasn't going to show up. Phasma would be a good replacement for the job, but there's no way Snoke would let it go without getting suspicious. 

 

"Hux!" Snoke's voice rang out. Your body jerked and you looked up at the man again, who was yelling into his phone. "You of all people should know I am not a patient man. You're running out of time." He ended the call again and stood up gingerly from his seat. 

 

You eyed him with caution, getting a better look at him now. He was slender, perhaps tall, but surely not as tall as the woman had been. He seemed frail and weak, no doubt a man more accustomed to gleaning his dominance from threats of the verbal kind.

 

As Snoke turned to pace down the room, he noticed you were watching him. He stopped walking and placed his hands behind his back. His eyes changed, just subtly, but the look was unnerving, almost as if he could hear your thoughts. 

 

"You know something," he spoke calmly. It wasn't a question. 

 

"No," you answered, your tone full of uncertainty. 

 

"What do you know?" Snoke walked over and stood in front of you, leaving over you. "Tell me."

 

You blinked, but your eyes refused to open again, your mind trying its best to repress everything around you at the moment. 

 

You felt bony fingers clench around your upper arm in an attempt to drag you up off the ground. Your legs were weak from sitting for so long and did little to help you up. You felt the bruises blossoming under his fingers already.

 

“Look at me!” Snoke yelled.

 

He shook you, both of your arms now firmly in his grasp. With your back against the wall, you looked at him as commanded, your lips involuntarily curling in disgust.

 

"You know something," he insisted again. "Tell me."

 

You were on high alert now, your brain running in a million directions. The logical side of you was trying to stay calm, to get you out of here alive. The other part of you wanted to spit in Snoke's face and scream for help, for Kylo. 

 

But without knowing what was going on in that room, you couldn't do it. You didn't want to put him in any excess danger. 

 

You hoped the middle ground of the two would get you somewhere. 

 

"I know where Hux is." Your voice was far steadier than you had expected it to be. 

 

Snoke didn't answer. His hands only tightened around your arms, and his gaze hardened.

 

"Your lackey’s dead," you said, unsure if the words had actually made a sound. 

 

Snoke must have heard them because he instantly let go of you. You fell straight to the ground, the friction of your back dragging against the wall only somewhat slowing your descent. 

 

You curled up against the wall, doing whatever you could to protect yourself. You quickly reasoned there wasn't much you could do to defend yourself against this man, so you looked up. Snoke was at the end table, his back turned towards you. You heard a distinct metallic noise. The gun had been racked. 

 

Snoke's shoulders heaved raggedly as he took a few labored breaths. You waited for him to turn around, to say something. But his next motion was away from you, towards the hallway. 

 

He wasn't going after you first. He wanted Kylo. 

 

"No!" you screamed, starting to push yourself off the floor. 

 

Snoke spun around with the weapon drawn, and you fell back to the ground quickly. "The chances of you leaving here alive are becoming slimmer by the minute. Don't test me."

 

You ignored Snoke's threat the second he turned his back on you again. You didn't know what you were going to do, but you couldn't just sit there. 

 

You jumped up onto your feet and took quick, large steps towards him before he could hear you coming. Just before he got to the hallway, you had kicked out his legs from beneath him and he fell to the ground on his side. The gun was still clenched tightly in his grip. 

 

"Stupid girl!" Snoke hissed. His voice sounded pained as he attempted to stand up.

 

You lunged towards him. You were committed now, you couldn't let up. Landing behind him on the ground, you wrapped one arm through his elbow, attempting to pin it behind his back and reach for the gun in his other hand. He tucked his arm towards his body, pulling the gun out of your reach. You dug your hand into his side, snaking between his arm and his body. You felt it, the cold steel of the gun. You pulled on it. A string of curses flew from your mouth, not making any sense. All of your efforts were focused on the feeling in your hand. If you could just....

 

A gunshot erupted into the broken silence. Hot metal scraped against your hand. You felt a sting. Your body shook violently, your quick breaths doing nothing to quell the movement. Suddenly, Snoke's body wasn't resisting anymore. A warm sensation in your hand allowed the gun to slip easily from his fingers and into yours. 

 

You scooted back from him on the ground, your shaking arms trying their best to support your weight. One hand slipped from underneath you, and you looked down to see blood smeared against the floor. 

 

Snoke's body moved just slightly, his head tilting up one last time. 

 

"Foolish..." Snoke began.  


Another shot rang out, hitting him in the chest. He fell. You only realized you had done it by how your arm jerked back from the recoil. 

 

Kylo and Phasma stared at each other for just a moment, eyes wide, before Phasma sprung up from her chair, tending to the knots in the ropes around Kylo's arms and legs. 

 

"Y/N?!" Kylo yelled while he was waiting to be released. His breath hitched. "Fuck. I swear to God..."

 

He jumped up from the chair hastily once he was no longer bound. Phasma slapped a heavy hand against his chest before he could open the door. "Wait," she said. 

 

"But-"

 

"No. You wait."

 

Phasma gently opened the door, checking the hallway before she stepped out into it. Kylo watched her slink slowly down the hall, stopping at the end. She poked her head around the corner, but flung her body back violently at the sound of another shot, moving just quickly enough to avoid the bullet that went whizzing past her head. 

 

Phasma pushed her back against the wall, catching Kylo's eye. She held out a flat hand to him. "Stay," she mouthed. 

 

She stuck a hand out from the hall, waving into the living room. "I'm coming out now." She took a deep breath before bravely stepping back out. 

 

You fixed the gun on Phasma, your finger dancing against the trigger. You really weren't sure if you could even pull it again with the way you were shaking. You were surprised you were even still capable of standing at this point, and you weren’t even sure when you had stood up.

 

Phasma was outwardly collected, though you could see her chest heaving from deep breaths and an unsteady heartbeat. She slowly raised her hands. "It's okay. Don't shoot. Again. Please," she pleaded to you. She turned her head slightly and lowered her voice. "It's Y/N. Can you talk her down perhaps?"

 

You squinted at the woman. But soon enough Kylo cautiously lazed around the corner of the hallway, a noticeable limp in his gait. "It's okay," he pleaded to you. "She's with me... now."

 

Your heart seemingly sank and fluttered simultaneously. You were relieved to see Kylo, a familiar face, his face. But whose side was he on anyway? You were supposed to trust Phasma now?

 

You kept the gun raised. Kylo was in your sights. "What's going on?" you asked, aiming the gun back on Phasma. “Why shouldn’t I shoot her? She shot _you._ ”

 

Kylo hesitated, unable to properly gather his thoughts looking down the barrel of a gun. Besides, you weren’t exactly wrong. "I convinced Phasma to help me. Help us. But you clearly don't need help anymore. The only bad guy here was Snoke. And..." he paused, looking down. "And you took care of him." Kylo slowly approached you with his hands up. "Come on. It's okay. It's over."

 

The scene in front of you became blurry as tears welled up in your eyes. Soon, Kylo was right next to you, your arms still outstretched and shaking, when he stood beside you and clasped his hands into yours. The warmth and steadiness was welcomed, and you felt the cold metal slip through your fingers as he pulled the gun away. He slid it across the floor to Phasma, who deftly released the magazine and racked the weapon, unloading it. 

 

"Y/N," Kylo whispered, reaching an arm out to put around your shoulders. 

 

Silently, you stepped away from him, not meeting his gaze, and ran out the front door. 

 

The air was damp and bitterly cold. Night had fallen since this whole thing had begun, the sun taking every bit of warmth with it in its absence. You went to run your hands against your arms and noticed the blood smeared on them. You sat on the steps and wiped your hands on your jeans hard enough to rub the skin right off of them. 

 

Your breaths quickened so fast you didn't know what hit you. You doubled over, resting your arms on your legs and buried your face in them. The thumping of your heartbeat echoed through your ears accompanied by he seething of your heavy breaths through your teeth. 

 

The door open behind you, and you stood up immediately, still short of breath, and started walking down the sidewalk on uneasy legs.

 

"Don't go," Kylo pleaded. 

 

You stopped. "Kylo," you said, voice nearly cracking. The way you said his name almost gave him some type of hope. You turned slowly to face him. The scene was surreal. Besides what had just happened inside, it reminded you of the first time you had seen him like this, his gorgeous features lit up in the artificial yellow light. Your heart ached. What you wouldn't give to go back to that time, before you knew any of this.

 

"Kylo," you spoke again. "I don't even know if I still have a job. I can't go home because... because there's a fucking dead guy in my apartment." You paused, trying to steady your breathing and your shaking hands. "I can't..."

 

He knew what you were going to say and he couldn't bear to hear it. He turned away from you with fervor, right after you saw the fire build up in his eyes.   


Kylo was stopped quickly just inside the door, Phasma reaching out a hand to plant on his shoulder. He raised his head to look at her. She had a rare look of sympathy on her face.   


"Breathe," she said curtly, more command than comfort.

 

Kylo huffed, taking in shallow breaths through his nose. His fingers began to ache under the pressure of the fists he'd subconsciously made. 

 

"I know you don't want to lose her, but if you care about her and love her-"

 

Kylo interrupted, almost too quickly. "I - I didn't..."

 

"I know you didn't  _say_  you loved her. But I'm not blind, Kylo. I truly do not give a shit, but I'm not blind."

 

He took a heavy breath, his shoulders sinking as he exhaled. His eyes fixated on a wall in his living room, and his body shook with a chill, suddenly acknowledging the frigid temperature flowing into the house. 

 

"Just let her say her piece," Phasma said quietly. "You owe her that. She’s been though enough."  


She squeezed his shoulder before letting go, allowing him to turn around to face you again. 

 

The warmth returned to Kylo's body when he saw you again, but not for long. Your face was strained, your forehead creased, eyebrows furrowed so tightly that it looked painful. You were gnawing on your lip nervously, and Kylo instantly recalled a time not so long ago when he dragged your lip between his own teeth.

 

But that’s when it hit him. This is what you had become because of him. A physically drained and emotionally compromised version of what you had been when he’d met you. And he could take no pleasure in that.   


You saw the way he was staring at you, but you couldn't make out what the look in his eyes was. He was deathly silent, so you took it as your cue to start talking again.   


"I just need some time, you know? This has all been... a lot."

 

"Right," Kylo said, his voice flat. He hopped down the few steps to get closer to you. You didn't move. 

 

He kicked lightly at the concrete, distracting himself with the noise of his boot scuffing against the ground. "If you need anything, you know where to find me," he said quietly. 

 

Kylo hadn't expected it but it was all he had hoped for. You stepped forward quickly, wrapping your arms around him. You squeezed tightly, but it never felt like enough, his body barely giving way underneath your grip. Kylo hesitated for a moment, wondering if this was something he should allow you to do on your own, but soon the urge overcame his concern, and he wrapped his arms around your shoulders, burying his face in your hair. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. If this was going to be the last time to hold you in his arms, he was going to make sure he'd remember it, committing every last smell and touch to his memory. 

 

This felt so incredibly different than everything else. Before this, each touch would make your hearts race, send your blood pumping through veins with lust. But you could feel your heart and hear his, slow and steady. Calm, collected, and at ease, if just for a moment. 

 

Kylo placed a kiss on the top your head. He cleared his throat, and the noise rattled his chest and vibrated against your face. "Phasma is going to take you to her place tonight," he spoke deeply into your ear. "She's hard to get used to, but she's not so bad. She'll take care of you, though. And I'll let her know when it's safe to send you home tomorrow."

 

His voice melted you, as it always did. You wanted to take it back in that moment. This side of him, this caring, protective side is what you loved. But you had to remind yourself of the baggage it came with, why he needed to be protective. 

 

You only nodded into his chest, tightening your fingers against his sides one more time before letting go. 

 

Phasma slid herself between the two of you before any more words could be exchanged, casually slipping her arm to hang over your shoulder. You looked up at Kylo before Phasma turned you away, but he was staring at the ground, with a hand tightly woven into his hair. 

 

He wasn't going to watch you walk out of his life if he'd never get to watch you walk back into it.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to leave y’all hanging, but I couldn’t do that. Don’t worry. There is an epilogue. It’s already written. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at [TheIndifferentDroid](https://theindifferentdroid.tumblr.com/)!


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